He Will Take Care of Our Inadequacies

 Well I said I was going to keep this blog real. No sugar and spice and everything nice.  This is a journey and not every thing about a journey is pleasant. We just returned from 10 days in Haiti. Don’t get me wrong. It was a great trip with great people.  I love the A-Team! They are my family! And I will do a trip with them any day of the week.

Still, those 10 days were, in many respects, harder than the three months we were there. We were in an area we had never visited before, Saint Mark. The IPHC has 4 churches there. Our team put up the walls on a church parsonage and a kitchen/storage depot for the school we have there. We also did medical clinics at the four churches with a ministry team there praying with the people. I give praise to God! Thirty seven people accepted God’s gift of salvation!

And yet, the feeling I had there, I have brought home with me. I have tried to put words to what I feel and what hit me this morning was the word INADEQUATE. I have never felt more inadequate in my life for the task at hand! Coming from a medical background, I am used to having competency evaluations. We have to have continuing education to maintain our licenses. How do you prove your competency to be a missionary? It started the second day we did medical clinic. I gave a nebulizer treatment to a baby. I have never administered a nebulizer treatment here in the states. There were always respiratory personnel in the hospital that did that. I have never cared for sick babies. I have always cared for the geriatric population. My own son was always healthy. There is so much medically I do not know. It will have to be the Holy Spirit who guides me.

As I watched Bonnie Clowers at work, knowing things she is facing in her life and yet seeing love flowing through her for the Haitian people, I stand in awe. I know I am not to emulate Bonnie’s role in Haiti. God will show Roger and I our role. But coming from that prove your competency based background, I am struggling. I don’t like feeling inadequate, feeling unsure of myself. I know I can not do this in my own strength or power. God will do it through us. I know all the right answers. I can and will continue to preach it to myself. In the mean time, not being an emotion driven person, I struggle with the emotions.