Fear

I am really having to take a deep look at myself. 

I asked the Lord to give me a word for this year which was discipline. Almost immediately after that He lead me to a Proverbs 31 Ministries On Line Bible Study called "Made To Crave" which while dealing with food issues related those to the real issues of our desires for God.

 To ward the end of that study I was faced with a deep issue of amger that I thought I had already dealt with. And, still dealing with that the Proverbs 31 OBS (online Bible study) I was doing next was "Kicking Fear to the Curb". 

No big deal. I have read books on fear in the past. I have dealt with that already. This should be a breeze. 

Yeah right. This first week into the study and I realize I STILL have major issues with fear. Amd my greatest fear? 

Public humiliation; which is the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, fear of man all rolled into one gigantic  fear!

Ok so admitting this, I begin digging into scripture. What gets my attention first? All the scriptures that tell me to fear God. There are just as many of those as there are scriptures that tell me NOT to fear.

Don't I fear God? Before today I would have said yes. But do I really fear Him as I should? I want to. What does the Bible mean by fearing God?

I looked up fear. Merrium-Webster defines fear as: 

• : an unpleasant emotion caused by being aware of danger : a feelingof being afraid
• : a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful

Every Bible dictionary I went to gave basically the same definition but with the added comment that it is the ones who love God that have the respect and "reverential awe" for God. They further described it as the respect a child has for their father. 

So do I fear God? Yes I do. I know He is all powerful. He created everything in the WORLD including ME! And He sent His Son to die for me because He loves me! And there is NOTHING He can't do! One of my favorite scriptures is ""Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?" (Jeremiah 32:27 NASB) 

So then why do I fear anything? If I really fear God why do I fear anything else?

There is a fear that is healthy. Fear of things we know can hurt us like not picking up poisonous snakes because we know we could get bit or running out in the street in front of cars.  God placed it within us to protect us. 

But as usual the enemy of our souls, satan, does his best to pervert the natural fear to keep us from trusting God as we should. And he does it with lies.

Numbers 13 and 14 (which was part of my study this week) gave a very good example of how the enemy uses lies. Ten of the twelve spies sent into the promised land brought back a bad report. And it was a report based on fear. 

There were giants in the new land. Their own words show their fear. "There also we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak are part of the Nephilim); and we became like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight." (Numbers 13:33 NASB)

They saw themselves as grasshoppers next to these Nephilim. Insignificant, tiny, easily squashed. And the enemy convinced them the Nephilim saw them the same way.

They had already forgotten that their God had brought them out of a powerful nation that wanted to keep them enslaved. Miracle after miracle the Lord had given them and they did not TRUST Him to keep His promise to give them this land.

I am guilty of the same. I know what God has already done in my life. I have seen miracles. I am a miracle. And yet I am so afraid of being humiliated that I do everything I can not to do what God wants me to. 

God forgive me! And help me to be rid of this fear so I can serve You completely.